a work of love

I need something from lavender, sage, copal. When it burns and the smoke rises, when you can ask for the things you need.

I can't be accurate or concrete right now, I can't make sense and that will have to do for now.

I saw Beginners today and it shook me up. I cried really hard, but really quietly. I almost exploded from holding it in, but I had this all day headache before then. Maybe it's because I might be going into another kind of grief soon.

"This is what nature looked like in 2011"
"This is what writing in a journal and documenting life looked like in 2011"


I would like to stop everything, sit on paint splattered hardwood floor, listen to music from a long time ago, and read books, write, and discover ways to say things I haven't been able to yet. I want to find new ways to tell my stories.

But until then and when I can't do that, I'll be remembering how Mike Mills created a history of his father. It's amazing to be able to work so hard, with so many people, to create a thing that tells your story and gets other people to understand their life differently.