a good love

I love seeing friends so in love, finding their match, having adventures, and making big decisions together. I respect it and think its brave and beautiful. I was so happy to spend days making P&F's gifts, to get to create something they'll keep forever to remind them of their special day.

But why is it so hard to explain why I don't want to get married? And why is it the question I hear so often? There are many many reasons, and sure, when J and I are holding hands, crying, as our really good friends walk down the aisle, I have a pang of something that makes me want that someday. What I really long for is a celebration. I think I've mostly referred to it as a love party, where we would make up our own ritual of love. It's a touchy subject, I know, but it's something people ask me often. And if they(meaning people I hardly know) have the nerve to ask then I feel like I have the right to be honest. Mostly it makes people quiet and uncomfortable, but I promise, I'm polite about it. It's my prerogative.